Everywhere I Turn

Usually, I take one news item, link to it, give a brief rundown of the story, and then get into my own thoughts on the piece.  This week isn't the usual.

When I started looking at the papers this week (I always try and grab a recent story to work from), specifically the Toronto Star, I felt bombarded by sexual predators.  The cover story for the online version yesterday was all about the Thai sex trial featuring a Canadian teacher.  In the local news section, there was a piece about a youth charged with child pornography and if that wasn't enough, a driving instructor charged with sexual assault.  Everywhere I turned there were disgusting people doing despicable things to kids; to kids who were not much older than my kid in some cases.

What struck me most about the three seemingly very different stories was the fact that all three perpetrators were in positions that allowed them access to children in a place that we, as parents, believe them to be safe.  A kid of 15?  He's supposed to be in school.  A teacher?  Ditto.  And a driving instructor, while not provincially regulated, is still expected to provide a safe environment for our kids.  I felt frustrated, confused, and more than anything, terrified by these revelations.

It feels like nowhere is truly safe anymore, like we can trust no one with our children.  Right now I live a charmed and sheltered life, because we are in a position, both financially and by personal preference, to have my wife be a stay at home mom.  I don't have to worry about putting my kid into daycare, or leaving them with someone other than family if I don't want to.  But next fall, my daughter will be four years old and in all likelihood will attend Junior Kindergarten at the local public school.  And that is something I am not ready for.

I know that I am not alone in this feeling of helplessness.  I would love to know what other parents do to combat these feelings.  How do you deal with the sometimes smothering fear of child predators?  What things give you hope for the future, or make you believe that your child is safe?  I really want to know.

You can read more SciFi Dad at Tales From The Dad Side.

Comments

[motherbumper]

One thing that I tell myself that the media is creating and breeding fear (I really do believe this). Yes child molestation (or worse) is everywhere and I do think it is totally necessary for these topics to be reported and out in the open in order to open discussion between care givers and children. But I find there is a underlying mass fear of this is going to happen to my child. Fear breeds scary overreactions.

The way I plan on dealing with this, as B gets into more independent programs, is for her to feel she can talk to me and her Dad about anything (which means controlled reactions on our part), raise B to trust her instincts, and to make sure that I've researched as much as possible, the members of her program.

[A.Reader]

For what it's worth I think your fears are largely unfounded. As motherbumper noted: the media is a poor barometer of risk assessment.

Statistically speak the chance of your child being kidnapped is nil. I highly recommend the book "Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children And Teenagers Safe," by Gavin De Becker.