Let's talk about sex baby

Sex and the City that is.

And I do apologize if that headline makes you wince, referencing as it does, a cheesy and dated song that hasn't been hip for a very long time.

But in this case? It's kind of appropriate.

Because, as much as it breaks my heart to say it, the much-anticipated Sex and The City movie feels just a little dated, a little cheesy and not very darn hip.

I so wanted to love this movie. Like millions of other women across the globe I was a rapid devotee of the television show and felt positively giddy at the prospect of catching up with my favorite girlfriends.

But I was disappointed to learn they have not aged well.

Perhaps it's the times that have changed, more than my old friends. Sex and the City was at the height of its popularity in the late 1990s and early 2000s when excess and escapism were rampant and nobody was talking about the failing economy or global warming or food riots.

In these sobering times, however, it's jarring and almost unseemly to watch the girls strut about in fanciful, expensive clothing, jewelry and shoes, twittering about their sex lives and obsessing over their social status, the details of their relationships and those of their friends.

The whole movie seems forced. The soundtrack is a dreadful and distracting mish-mash of r'n b and, with the exception of the breathtaking couture wedding dresses that Carrie tries on, the clothes just seem, well, silly.

The movie contains no plot lines that weren't already explored several times in the show. WARNING - SPOILERS AHEAD. To wit, Carrie and Big are together, Big gets cold feet and jilts Carrie and Carrie and Big get back together. Miranda and Steve almost break up because she doesn't appreciate him, but then she does and so they don't.  And, oh yeah, Samantha decides she needs to be free to explore her sexuality.

Really? We waited four years for this? And where are all the witty insights about love and friendship and dating that peppered the dialog in the show? In the movie Carrie's trademark narration sounds so forced and trite that when her closing monologue started I actually cringed and glanced over at my companion to see if she was rolling her eyes.

But she wasn't. I watched the movie with my sister-in-law who had never seen an episode of the television show. She didn't think it was cheesy at all. In fact she thought it was terrific, which proves that a lot of the problem probably had to do with my expectations.

"It was just so fun, just a great romp, a great chick flick," she said.

And I couldn't completely deny it: it is great eye candy. But the closest I could come to explaining why that wasn't enough gelled for me later when I took a good, long look at myself in the mirror.

I don't look as hot as I did 10 years ago but I think I'm a lot more interesting. I don't care as much about how I look and how I appear to others and I don't try as hard.  I've grown up.

But Carrie and Miranda and Charlotte and Samantha haven't grown up. They're not as hot as they were 10 years ago either, but they don't seem to have developed rich inner lives to compensate. The girls are buffed and polished to within an inch of their lives and appear to be striving so mightily it struck me as exhausting and depressing.

There's a scene in the movie that's meant to be funny where Samantha, who's eating to compensate for her unhappiness, shows up at a party carrying a few extra pounds and spilling out of her low cut pants. Everyone's reactions - shock! horror! - are played out to great comedic effect but I just shrugged in my seat. She's 49! She looks fantastic. Whatever.

The difference between the movie and the show, which I couldn't explain to someone who had never seen the show, is that the girls I knew and loved on the show were meant to be just like me and my friends. Even if they were, literally and figuratively, worlds away from my life in Don Mills, Ontario, I could still picture myself hanging out with them.

The Sex and the City movie left me cold because I could no longer picture myself hanging out with the ladies I saw in it. I can't imagine what I would have to say to them because the self indulgence that is expected in your 20s and accepted in your 30s just seems kinda lame in your 40s.

Comments

[suburbancorrespondent]

Good points. What is funny and attractive for 30-year-olds (barely) doesn't suit a middle-aged woman at all. It looks pathetic and sad instead. Anthony Lane had an interesting review of the movie in the New Yorker this week.

[Jenn @ Juggling Life]

Watching the movie was a lot like eating junk food.

The stuff about Samantha being "fat" was pretty sad and annoying.

[D / Momma]

I saw the movie this weekend, and it was ... fun. I never watched the TV series until recently, when I decided to see what all the fuss was about.

I was very irritated at the Samantha "pooch" scene, though. Give me a break! And she couldn't grow up enough by age 49 to realize that it's better to hang onto a guy who would help you through the Big C than to have a bunch of stranger sex (when eventually you're going to lose that battle with aging anyway??).

What did I want to say to that scene? SJP, eat a doggone sandwich...and keep it down! She isn't sexy thin, she is emaciated. It's kinda gross.

Anyway, your review is spot on. I guess it was meant to be fluff, and it was that.

Peace - D

[Stomper Girl]

I enjoyed the movie because I thought it ticked all the boxes. But if I were friends with Carrie Bradshaw I wouldn't be friends with Carrie Bradshaw. If that makes sense.

[common mom]

I liked the movie . . . I agree with your review, but I also enjoyed it. Maybe because I got to go with 4 wonderful friends and we had a great GNO. All through the movie I kept saying how all the clothes were awful - except for the wedding dress - which she ruined with a blue bird on her head ;-) But you're right - nothing new or unexpected came out of the movie. Maybe that's why I liked it . . . I've been in the mood for run-of-the-mill with nothing unexpected lately :-)

[LaskiGal]

I was OK with it . . . but as I said walking out from the theater, the fact that I laughed, teared up, and for the most part enjoyed the film just goes to show you how little there is at the theater for women of a certain age to enjoy that stimulates the intellect while massaging the senses . . .

[Colleen - Mommy Always Wins]

I think you hit the nail on the head!

Still looking forward to seeing the movie, even though I've heard other reviews similar to yours!

I didn't like the line about why they stopped drinking Cosmos. "Because everyone else started." Like they are so much better than the rest of the female world!

It definitely paled in comparison to the show I knew and still love.

[Beth from the Funny Farm]

I completely agreed with this post. I loved the series and thought the movie, while decent, wasn't the same as the series. I did like how all the same acters/actresses played the characters.

[Kimberly]

Thanks for directing me to your review. I actually agree with you - you just said it in more detail (and more eloquently). It was entertaining enough, but something was definitely missing. (And I rolled my eyes at the Samantha gets a gut thing too). I did like the clothes though.

[mamatulip]

I didn't watch the show and have no interest in the movie, but I gotta say, this was a really good review.

[scrappysue]

hi there! found you thru reluctant. she said u felt the same way about the movie i did! great review. well said.