Long-haired freaky people need not apply..

OK, so, like, I don't want to be a traitor to my chosen profession or anything, but there are some things about performing that I just don't get.  Like why almost any guy I know finds The Three Stooges to be most hilarious thing EVER.  Or how movies like Little Man ever got the green light.  Or who ever thought that William Shatner could act.  But these things have nothing on the issue that I have with mascots, or, basically any person dressed up in a cartoon character or animal costume where you can't see their face.

Yeah, I'm a freak.  But I've felt this way for a long time.  I don't exactly know what precipitated these harsh feelings, but it doesn't seem to be something that I'm going to get over anytime soon.  So, I thought I would try out a little self-analysis to get to the bottom of it..

The first is so obvious, it's almost not worth mentioning - you can't see their face.  The word mascot is derived from masqu, meaning masked or concealed.  Maybe I'm a little jaded, but I associate masks with Jason Voorhees and the like.  Seriously?  Are the programmers behind Barney thinking?  Now I know I'm going to be dreaming of fat purple predators tonight..

Then, there's the heat factor.  You just know that inside that hairy-headed exterior, there is some sweaty half-naked man puffing his way through Canada's Wonderland dreaming of the time when he gets off work so he can peel off the costume and breathe normally again.  Am I a heartless wench?  Sometimes when I see one of poor buggers, I just want to cry.

What about those guys dressed up as gigantic hot dogs or golf balls standing on the corner handing out pamphlets?  A part of me wants to cross to the other side of the street to avoid contact, but I just feel so sorry for any adult dressed up like a giant weiner that I feel obliged to accept any and all marketing material being passed out.

It probably goes without saying that touting a big chicken or dog head is not the most attractive look I've ever seen.  Don't even get me started on the giant Dora and Diego heads..  Have you looked at someone in one of these costumes recently?  I mean, really looked?  It would be difficult to have a serious conversation with one of these fellows.  (Some mascots, on the other hand, take their jobs VERY seriously.  Don't believe me?  Follow this link.)

Mascots are supposed to be spokespeople, bringers of luck and represent a common public identity.  Cartoon characters at theme parks are supposed to bring joy to children the world over.  Personally, they just give me the heebie-jeebies.

How about you?  Any irrational issues with something you want to share?

Comments

[kgirl]

I have so many irrational issues that I'm afraid we just don't have the time...

[kittenpie]

I find the ones that are supposed to look humanoid totally creepy, but the obviously something-else type, like say Big Bird or something, are fine with me.

The library has one now that is a robot (Dewey), who I find pretty cute, and kind of fun. but having been in it briefly, it is pretty tight quarters and yeah, definitely hot. We are instructed, when handling him, not to leave someone in him for more than 15-20 minutes at a stretch, generally, even though he has a fan in there. I can't even begin to imagine how theme park mascots manage...

[daysgoby]

When I see mascot costumed people I think of two things:

a) Disney's rules (the head stays ON, even if you throw up wearing it)
and
b) that poor guy who did Big Bird. In the outtakes and behind-the-scenes shows, he can only be in it for a few minutes before he blacks out.

Now THAT'S suffering for your...art.

[Woman in a window]

First off, William Shatner can't act but he is one of my favorite singers, or maybe more truthfully, he has one of my all-time favorite songs. If you don't know about this, just ask me...really...he's amazing!

And you answered your own question here (maybe you didn't even ask a question) but you said you're so sorry for the sweaty adults that you'd be prepared to take any literature from them. See? Success. Maybe they don't want to make anyone happy. Maybe they just want to sell.

YES! and big Dora heads. Have you seen Durham County? OHhh...spooky. Probably the best Canadian series EVA'! REally, you must watch it. It's on at 10pm Monday night so we have to record it 'cause it's way too late but man, is it ever well acted! And well shot! And well edited! And great sound! Man, I need me a slice of the advertising pie.

Thanks for the love today. I little love goes a LONG way!

[bren j.]

Guess you'll never be taking the boys to Disneyworld, hey?

[Beck]

Other people's irrational fears are always kind of funny, totally unlike my completely rational terror of rodents.

[Helen]

Good call!!!!
Thing that gets me is that Barney was made up by a mother...WHAT?!?! was she thinking?!?! Although now she's laughing at the rest of us, isn't she?!?!?