The TrueMom Show

I've been known to watch some truly inane TV shows while breastfeeding.  Yes, I know you're supposed to look lovingly into your baby's eyes and bond during feedings.  The reality is that both my children completely ignore(d) me while eating and focus(ed) on the boob with a single-minded devotion.  [Like father, like sons I guess...OK, moving on..]  It took me a long time to figure how how to juggle a baby and turn the pages of a book at the same time, and it gets really old staring at a wall.  So, TV became my default. 

My first son took an hour to feed and I think I watched every episode of Trading Spaces in existence.  The new baby doesn't take nearly as long and is easily distracted, so I usually choose a show that I can follow with very little sound.  He's been subjected to a steady stream of HGTV, TLC and W Network shows.

I'm a big fan of the real estate shows like Property Virgins, Location Location Location and House Hunters.  I find the complexities of buying and selling houses inordinately interesting.  Lower down on my list are the staging and decorating shows like Designed to Sell, Sarah`s House and Curb Appeal.  I got really browned off these ones during the whole Trading Spaces era - there's not many I haven't seen.  And really, how many times can you watch someone sew a pillow sham or pull down ugly wallpaper without going a little nutty?  When I need a break from the house arena, I turn to my least favourites - the parenting or life skills show like Take Home Nanny, How Clean is Your House....or Jon and Kate Plus 8.

I will reluctantly admit that I am strangely fascinated by the last one.  If you're not familiar with the show, it's about Jon and Kate Gosselin who, through fertility treatments, ended up not only with twin girls, but sextuplets - three boys and three girls.  That brings the kid count to eight children. EIGHT CHILDREN.  And I can barely manage two.  The husband thinks that this show is akin to watching paint dry, but I find myself inexplicably drawn to it.

The initial appeal factor is obvious:  I find great solace in the fact that although my life seems like a never-ending circus sometimes, at least I only have two children.  Our budget is tight, but we're not spending a thousand dollars in groceries every time we go.  We're looking at bigger cars, but we don't have to drive a bus when we go on family outings.  Potty training is difficult, but I'm only managing one small bladder (two if you count mine), not eight.

Beyond that is the consideration of the reality show itself.  Should this family, these kids, be living their lives on television?  There are so many reality shows out there, that surely the audience's appetite is sated and we don't need to put these kids on display.  We all know what happened with the exploitation of the Dionne quintuplets, and we certainly don't want history repeating itself.  These are the ideas that I've been turning over in my mind this week.

The conclusion that I've come to is that despite some obvious drawbacks, this is probably the best decision the Gosselins could have made for their family at this stage in their lives:

• They're collecting priceless video memories of their kids.  Something tells me that they don't have a lot of time at the end of the day to update a blog.
• I think that because of the show, they make a point of getting out and doing a lot of activities that they might not otherwise have done, like going to Disneyland or the Zoo.  We haven't yet found the time or energy to make it to the Zoo this year...
• People who watch the show feel that they are almost part of the family, and send clothes or toys for the children.  With a tight budget, I'm sure that helps.
• The couple themselves have likened the show to marriage counselling.  Tired and overextended, they may act thoughtlessly in the heat of the moment, but when they review the footage, they see what happened and apologize.
• They're also very realistic in that if they feel that the show is not good for the family - they're not having fun anymore - they will re-evaluate their position.

More importantly, I wonder if the camera's unrelenting eye doesn't actually make them better parents?  I've certainly found that since I started blogging, I've benefitted from having a narrator's view of my life.  I take time to savour moments that I might have let slip by unthinking.  I have deeper insights into events, and make past or future connections that I might not have made otherwise.  Do you think that being a mom on TV makes Kate more likely to approach stressful moments with laughter than with anger?  Does it give her the impetus to always put her best face forward, when she might have let things slide? And hey - does it push her to keep her house any cleaner than I do??

What do you think?  Is this show good or bad for the kids?  Or neither.  Would you be a better parent if you played one on TV?  I'm curious.

Photo credit:  TLC Discovery

Comments

[kgirl]

I like your analysis of Jon & Kate. I personally love them - I don't think any two parents could do a better job with eight freakin kids, and I always lmao at the dialogue between the two - probably because, as even Chris will attest - they sound exactly like us.

I miss my b/f days of staring at the telly with Bee - it's not the same now, not only because Dove is distracted, like yours, but because with Bee home, any time the tv is on, she thinks she's entitled to be watching treehouse. Better just to leave it off.

[kittenpie]

I am generally not into these shows, and don't watch this either, partly because I often find the people and their interactions annoying. When I've seen bits of this show, though, I don't find them that way, and I think you make some good points about forcing them to examine their own parenting and reactions and do the very best they can. It's easy to get lazier when we're tired as parents (god, who doesn't do that? I do.), but with other people watching, you would, I agree, try harder.

[Woman in a window]

I think you and I might be linked through tv rather than through a very long umbilical cord. That you admit (in this against media world...that is actually in love withe media) that you like tv and it influences you, well that's very refreshing. And yous smat, too.

I don't watch this show in particular but you are very right in pointing out that perhaps it encourages the family to behave in a better fashion by having viewers. Yes, I too have felt the influence of blogging. I've been about to go totally bananas and yell or beat my chest but then I think, boy, this is sure gonna suck to have to blog how ridiculous I've been as a parent. As a result I (usually) behave better. I could choose to not blog the bad, but that would be dishonest, so really I do feel like I have at least a few people watching me.

As to whether or not it's the right choice? Who knows, but at least they seem to be scrutinizing their decisions. And ya, I'm sure the free stuff helps!

[Helen]

I don't really see a problem with them doing the show. My arguments are the same as yours.

If you ever watch the behind the scenes stuff you'll see that the 'workers' are just like extended family. The only problem I could see is when it's over, the children will be cut off from them all.

Having the adults around also makes Kate sane! Think about it, I have one and I NEED adult company what would it be like with 8?!?

Also, they are probably putting great education funds together for all the children! AND Jon has been able to start working at a job part time...

[mandy]

An interesting question. I used to be totally addicted to the show for many of the reasons you mentioned. Now, I'm off it. A little too repetitive. Also, I think Kate's a little too mean (in the interview chair) by the end of season three and John's a bit passive-aggressive. Not that their faults aren't ones that could be found in any marriage (and frankly any marriage that could survive twins and sextuplets has to be pretty strong), but I'm finding it somewhat repetitive.

All that being said, I think that the show is a very real way for them to support that number of children and to provide for them. I don't think the tv is necessarily harming them, although I think that it might if it went on indefinitely. I'm sure it will run its course in a few more years' time.

[Don Mills Diva]

I have never seen this show but I tend to be a bit cynical...if they started to realize the show was negatively impacting their children I fear it would be difficult for them to give up the income the show brings and that's where it starts to f**k up real fast.