My style, it is a-changing

Things change.

Once I became a mom and hit my mid-30s I was forced to rethink my personal style rules and tips. Heck, even things I believed to be irrevocable truths about beauty and fashion, just didn't seem like the best ideas any more.

Time has forced my to rewrite the book on what does and what does not work for me. I'm a mom. I'm 38 and holding and here's what I've learned, or in some cases unlearned, about style over the past decade.

1. Jet black hair, or any strikingly dark hair color, throws smile lines and wrinkles into stark relief and should be avoided after a certain age.

This one was hard for me to accept. I rocked jet black hair  throughout my mid to late 20s. When I met my husband we both had inch-long hair: mine jet black and his white platinum. We could not have been more alternative and cute. But not cute? The way the black highlighted every single flaw on my skin. Uggg. Hello 30, bye bye jet black hair and illusions that I would forever remain a gamine, alternative queen.

2. Going braless can be a sexy and flirty fashion statement.

I was tiny. I had fairly small breasts. They were admirably perky. Now I am not, I do not and they are not. Nuff said.

3. Even considering any type of cosmetic surgery is to consider mutilation and a total repudiation of everything that feminists have spent centuries trying to achieve.

See explanation of rule number two.

4. Sky-high heels are tantamount to mutilation and a repudiation of everything feminists have spent centuries trying to achieve.

Back then, everyone was looking at my perky breasts and I took my relatively shapely legs for granted. These days I need to work those gams for all they're worth. Send heels please - the higher the better.

5. Only clothing found in a thrift shop could possibly be interesting or cool.

Don't get me wrong, I still like to boast about an occasional thrift shop find. But cheap and cheerful is more difficult to pull off as you age and I have learned the value of spending money on some classic, quality pieces that don't smell like someone else's sweat.

6. The only, real way to travel and experience another culture is to strap on a backpack, abstain from showering, check into a dingy hostel with dirty mattresses and spent endless hours eating banana pancakes and reading Lonely Planet whilst listening to a hardcore Dutch guy with dreadlocks discuss how live on a dollar a day.

Okay it's not strictly fashion or beauty related, but, seriously, can you believe I actually thought that guy was cool?

7. Posture is not important.

It's not that I didn't think posture was important in my younger days, it's just that I didn't think about it at all. Now I do. Now I realize that standing up straight, straightening my shoulders and sucking in my tummy is the best weapon against gravity.

8. Drinking too much on a fairly regular basis goes with the territory when you're a gamine, alternative queen.

Drinking too much is never becoming. Red-wine stained lips and teeth? Empty calories that settle on my already-expanding waistline? Puffy skin? No thanks, no thanks and no thanks.

9. Look sullen and pissed off is sexy.

Oh, please. Ten years ago I was tiny and braless, with jet black hair and a big glass of wine in my hand: I couldn't miss. Today I proclaim myself a diva with tongue placed firmly in cheek: a sexy sneer is more likely to appear pinched and haughty. A big, bright confident smile is a much better bet.

10. Following the trends is strictly for fashion victims.

Okay, still true. But ironically I pay more attention to trends now that I'm a little older. Sometimes I think when women age they tell themselves they have outgrown trends when the truth is they've just given up or are confused about what's in that season. You don't want to be a fashion victim at any age, but if you want to stay in the style loop as you age make a point, every spring and fall, of figuring out what the big trends are and add a few pieces to mix and match in with your current wardrobe.

Okay - that's it! Check back in this space a decade from now when I'm likely to extol the benefits of bright purple hair, used underwear and getting drunk off my ass every night.

Comments

[Mary Beth]

Can I add - clothes need to be washer friendly because anything and everything will be spilled on you at one point or another and dry cleaning bills add up very quickly! Cotton - the material of choice:)

[Hetha]

This was hilarious DMD! I relate to all of it with the exception that my hair was platinum and not black! Girl I'm totally sending you a pic of me in my Betsey Johnson, the reunion is at the end of the month. Be on the look-out.

[caramama]

OMG, this is SO true!! (Although I never could pull off going bra-less.)

Also, no more miniskirts. Sigh...

[angie]

LOVE these. Totally excellent!

[daysgoby]

Those are great!

[Kayris]

Here's another one.

Even if your body is smokin' hot, once you get past a certain age, it is no longer acceptable to bare your midriff in public unless you are at the beach. (Hello, Mariah Carey? I'm talking to YOU. yes, we know that you are stacked. Now please put on a shirt.)

[Jamie]

I'm about to turn 39 and these are all so true.

I am constantly sucking in my once super flat belly and holding my shoulders back to counteract the saggy booby factor. I have to say, though, that at 38 a great bra is THE BEST SELF-IMAGE booster. ;)

[Stomper Girl]

Sometimes I still like to go braless, (for comfort's sake) but I really have to have my shoulders right back if I do that when I'm out in public.

My big style tip? I would never have shlepped around in track pants prior to motherhood and now they are my FAVOURITE THING TO WEAR. *sigh*

[Kristen]

These are so right on. I am big chested so I have to wear a really good bra. I am always wishing I could go up to women and give them better bras!
And I have to say that once you are no longer 'gamine' you should leave the gym clothes for the gym. Nothing looks worse than a saggy butt in yoga pants, even if they are lulu's.
I think once you are in your 30's you know yourself well and you know what features to play up. I too want to play up my legs with above the knee skirts and high heels. Rock what you got.

[LaskiGal]

Oh, I can't believe how much truth is spoken here.

Hell, I wear two sports bras (for fear of being whipped in the face when I run).

And black hair. I wish. It has been replaced by curly, coarse gray hair that refuses to do anything except scream its existence from the top of my head. Nice.

And clothes. I just do my best to avoid mom jeans and muffin tops.

[Nap Warden]

I stand up straight and proudly wear my heels!

[Sass E-mum]

That' s a great list. My faves for looking hot are great posture and a fabulous smile. I like to think it's still possible to make one hell of an entrance if I get both of those right.

[kittenpie]

Being in the fashion stasis known as maternity wear, I am SO looking forward to being able to look at trends again. Right now, I'm avoiding even looking, because it's depressing that there are so many cute things that I can't even consider. Sigh. Next spring, I suppose...

[Beck]

All so very, very true.
And yes about the clothing quality - NOTHING throws my figure flaws into sharper focus than wearing something cheap and flimsy.

[Woman in a window]

I'm 38 and can be caught on occaision wearing polyester. Nuff said?

[Damselfly]

Hahaha! Good ones.