Art is Life

I spent this past weekend up to my eyeballs in chalk dust, and for once it didn't bother me one bit.  You see, I wasn't drawing trucks and trains on the sidewalk - which is a lot of fun, don't get me wrong - I was indulging in an old hobby of my: portrait art.  The chalk dust was from my collection of pastels that I brought out, dusted off, and stood staring at for a while like long-lost love letters.  It's been almost a DECADE since I've done a portrait (or any kind of art, really, that doesn't involve crayons and glue) because life just kept getting in the way.  First it was play rehearsals, then wedding planning, then house hunting, then marathon training, then having kids - there was always something more pressing to attend to. 

People are constantly telling me that they can't draw, to which my stock answer has always been: "Anyone can draw, it's just a matter of how you look at things."

At which point, people usually scoff at me.  But it's true!  And so while I was drawing, I was thinking about my rules for approaching art (ha! as if art can be governed by rules..) and I was struck with the realization that I could make connections between them and my post-kids life.  Read and be amazed by my Deep Insights:

#1 - Draw what you see, and not what you think you see.  This is hands down my most important rule.  Most people drawing faces tend to approach the paper trying to draw 'a friend', or 'a lover', and their feelings for the subject interfere with the portrait.  They'll try to make the nose smaller, or the skin clearer and less wrinkled and what they'll end up with is a very nice picture of someone, but not a picture of the person they were trying to draw.  You have to be willing to separate the emotions from the actuality and draw them as they appear to the unbiased eye, or the portrait will never be accurate.

The same goes for my kids.  Of course I think they're wonderful and beautiful and perfect.  I love them so much that it hurts sometimes, and I just want to hug them till they squirm.  BUT.  They're not perfect.  They have bad manners sometimes, they throw things and can be quite the little hooligans if I let them.  Personally, I think it's a thousand times better to love them as they are, to deal with them and work with them as they are, instead of ignoring their flaws.  I want to love a raise a real person, not a fictional kid.

#2 - You must get into the right frame of mind.  For artists this means finding a way to draw on "the right side of the brain" which controls the artistic side.  For actors, it's more along the lines of "being in the moment".  For me, when I draw, it means finding a good chunk of uninterrupted (hence, why I don't draw more) time, turning on some music, concentrating solely on the picture and tuning out all the extraneous 'noise' in my brain.  I use music because it gives my meandering thoughts something concrete, yet creative, to focus on.

I find that I'm at my best as a parent when I do the same thing with my kids: forget the chores, the emails, the tiredness and the worries and delve completely into their world.  Join in their crazy made-up games and play along seriously, without thought to appearing silly.  Play hard.  Swing, slide and follow the leader as if nothing else matters because for them, in that moment, nothing else does.  It's a really hard thing to do, and obviously can't be done all the time because a household doesn't run itself, but it's important.

#3 - Eventually, you have to take off the training wheels.  This one's hard for me because I'm a slave to realism.  I think that I've done a good job on a portrait if it's indistinguishable from a photograph.  In fact, I work almost exclusively from photographs because I don't have the time or patience for live models.  But there is a point in the process where I have to stop looking at the photo, and just look at the portrait.  I know something is not right because it doesn't feel right.  I have to work on instinct.

I spent a good portion of my baby's first year pouring over books, talking to other parents and comparing progress, and bugging my doctor to find out if our son was "on track".  It drove me nuts.  But it was a learning process that I had to go through, I think.  With our second son, I do occasionally check the books, but I'm mostly flying by the seat of my pants.  Doing what "feels" right.  And I'm a lot more relaxed because of it.

I also, technically, have a fourth rule - that art cannot be created amidst tidiness.  The bigger the mess, the better the art.  Of course, that just has waaay too much correlation to my real life, so we'll just forget that one for now.  M'kay?

Comments

[kittenpie]

I TOTALLY agree about seeing people as they are. Seomtimes people think it's disloyal to admit faults in a loved one, but I think it actually is the hallmark of a stronger love - one that can admit those things and love in spite of them, not pretending they don't exist.

And I love this post!

[crazymumma]

You do portraits as well? Is there anything you do not do?

[Painted Maypole]

whenever i'm having a rough day, or feeling unconnected, rule #2 brings me back, every time.

and AMEN! to rule #4. that's always my excuse for the house. i need to find some famous quote about this and hang it in my foyer, as both explanation and warning!

[kerry]

Just found your blog a few days ago- really enjoying it. Love this post!!