Buying clothes? Beware the mom zone

Sometimes I think one of the hardest things about being a mom is resisting the siren call of stereotypical mom clothes.

And by stereotypical mom clothes, I mean clothing that doesn't take too much effort, clothing that celebrates comfort over style and function over form, and clothing that, if I am truly honest with myself, I would not have been caught dead wearing prior to giving birth.

I'm not trying to be a smart-ass: it really is hard.

We moms are tired and rushed a lot of the time. Time and money are tight, but our bodies?Not so much (not mine anyway).

And I think that drinking in the silky skin and shiny hair of our children - our beautiful children - goes a long way towards satisfying our inherent need to feel the presence of beauty in our lives.

And that's not necessarily a good thing.

Ease and practicality might not sound like the worst things in the world but the problem is, if you continually let them start to dictate your wardrobe choices, your fashion confidence starts to erode.

Once you start to become unsure about your ability to pull off fun and stylish clothing, you become less and less apt to wear it and enjoy the boost of confidence it provides. It becomes a vicious cycle and before you know it you're telling yourself that you don't care about what you wear or looking good anymore anyway: you're a mom now.

I don't pretend to be the most fashionable person in the world, but I have established a mental list of clothing items that I consider to be beyond the pale. If ever I find myself softening my strict no-go stance on these items, it indicates to me that a strong dose of retail therapy is in order. 

In keeping with my firm belief that we moms have to stick together, I'd like to share my list with you:

1. Crocs. Straight up: they are evil and hideous and have no place on the feet of anyone between the ages of 12 and 65. I don't care if they're comfortable and easy to clean and practical: so are flip flops. I will never, ever wear Crocs and you shouldn't either. Seriously, trust me on this one.

2. Clothing with your children's picture on it. I know it's easy to get wrapped up in how gorgeous our kids are but don't, just don't. If you must broadcast their beauty, give fashion a fighting chance and opt for the World's Greatest Mom mug as opposed to the sweat shirt.

3. And speaking of sweat shirts...I'm not big on 'em at all. Ditto for sweat pants. With the exception of the cute yoga pants that have been all the rage the last few years, I don't think any clothes designed for wear in the gym should be worn outside the gym. Sweat suits might spell comfort for some people but to me they just say, "I've given up."

4. Your husband's clothes. I'm sure some young ingenues can roll out of their sexy beds and into their sexy boyfriend's clothing and look all sexy as hell, but chances are you can't. Once you're past a certain age, rumpled and baggy isn't a fashion statement it's just dumpy. Remember those recent photos of Katie Holmes wearing Tom's jeans a few weeks back? She's like 5'10 and 100 pounds and she looked like she was wearing a potato sack. If Katie can't pull it off, neither can you.

5. Pants with pleats in the front. They are dorky. You know this: I know you know this. But one day when you're feeling self-conscious about your tummy, you're going to find a pair of pleated pants which are a nice color and reasonably priced and butt flattering and you're gonna to think: I should just get these - they aren't so bad. But they are. Pleated pants are the banana peel on the slippery slope towards full-on mom jeans: do not allow them to throw you off balance.

That's my list. How about yours? Which clothes do you consider strictly in the mom zone?

Comments

[Hallie]

Sweatpants with words across the butt.

Tube tops of any size color.

Spandex leggings with anything tucked in. (I've seen it and it ain't pretty!)

Hallie :)
http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/

[Brittany]

AMEN! lol Mom clothes are NOT allowed in my house, either. Plus, there are WAY too many cute clothes out there to succumb to the high-water, 8 inch zipper, momeotypical (I think I might coin this word) clothing.

[Reluctant Housewife]

Yay! I passed! I don't wear any of those things... You're so right about pleated pants. Why do they even make them. They are so, so wrong. I have to admit I used to wear crocks, like, two years ago... I don't wear them anymore. I got over them as soon as so many cheap copies started showing up.

[Oz]

Pleated pants are evil. Bad, bad stuff.

My problem right now is sort of the opposite - I've got a bunch of dry clean only things, and I keep wanting to buy dry clean only stuff for work. And then Axel slobbers or boogers all over it, and I end up with weird stains on my cashmere cardigan. Not a good look. I've got to try to restrict myself to machine washable and less delicate - but still stylish! - pieces.

[inthefastlane]

Pleats...evil.
I have to also say that high waisted jeans, when you still have a rather large left over baby bump, does not hide the bump.

I do like Katie's haircut, though, I wonder if I could pull that off...

[OHmommy]

Nice list. I agree with most of them. Crocs, yuck. Pleats, eww.

I just recently purchased a sweat suit, after swearing them off for years. It is heaven. I spent an obscene amount of $$ on it and my behind looks amazing. I can't wait to wear it as soon as the season turns.

[kerry]

What a perfect list!
May I also add: oversized, bright colored t-shirts with pocket either over sweatpants or tucked into pleated pants? And sweatpants with elastic at the ankle, but over the ankle, with white socks and white sneakers tied too tight...

[Shannon]

Tapered jeans (unless they are actually "skinny jeans". Too 80s . . . and they didn't look good back then either. I hate sweat suits too, I even feel guilty if I head out in my yoga pants . . . but I do it anyway!

[Meredith]

I'm not a fan of fanny packs. We live near a popular vacation destination. I know those things are useful and it's probably impossible for a pickpocket to steal them, but couldn' you wear your purse across your shoulder and in front?
I also detest those John Deere hats. Team logos I don't mind, but pink John Deere?

[nomotherearth]

Ouch. I gues I'm out. I do wear Crocs. Not the mule-like clown shoes - the ones with two small bands across the foot in black. Most people don't even know they're Crocs, but yes, they are. They are excellent park shoes, I must say.

Ah hell, I'm a slob. But I figure since I have to wear nice, respectible stuff to work, I would use my mat leave to let it all go.

I'm so with you on the Crocs.

[Hetha]

I couldn't agree with you more on the list, particularly the crocs and the pleated pants. I didn't realize they are still making and selling pleated pants! (I've got to send you a pic of my Betsey Johnson dress)

[Jo Beaufoix]

Hee hee, perfect list. Pleated trousers = bad.

[April]

Thank you for the inclusion of crocs on your list!

[kittenpie]

Hell, yes!
And I tend to include windbreakers and warm-up suits in this, too, as well as actual athletic shoes. Not a cute sneaker or converse, but the ones really designed for running. Blech.
That said, I do exempt hoodies from the sweatshirt ban.
God, I can't wait to get closer to my body so I can stop wearing stretchy everything!

[Kelli @ writing the waves]

Phew! I dodged that bullet. I don't wear any of those things. And so glad to hear that someone else isn't into crocs. I thought I was the only one. :)

You didn't list anything that I currently wear! I was worried when I started reading. Add "floods" to the list. I can't stand when people wear their pants to short.

[Mac and Cheese]

The comment about the floods was mine. I forgot to sign it in my frantic desire to post something.

[Christine]

LOL! You are too funny! I would have to say the worst mommy zone combination item is: black tights, white shirt and white sneakers from Reebok. You know the ones that nurses wear, very comfy and also very wrong.

I think what contributes to this is that we rarely shop for ourselves because we are busy shopping for our kids. But I found a store (okay, it's a shoe store) that has cool kids shoes and adult shoes, as well! I found out about Adrian's from another self-confessed white Reebok-wearing mom: http://www.sharesavvy.ca/cities/toronto/reviews/740.

Remember, multi-purposing is always in style!

Take care!
Christine