Atonement

On this, the eve of Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year, the day of atonement, I thought it only fitting that I confess my sins – my food sins, that is.

Now, don’t go clicking away in horror – It’s been a rough year for me and my family, but I feel like I’ve made my peace. I’m down with the G-O-D. This is not about blaspheme. This is about…gastropheme. And there’s plenty of forgiveness to ask for there.

Forgive me Michael Pollan/Tom Colicchio/Martha Stewart/Mollie Katzen, for I have sinned. It has been 33 years since I started eating.

- I am sorry that I waited until my children went to sleep to crack open the Ben and Jerry’s that I had told Bee had gone bad and had to be thrown out.

- I am sorry that I caved and bought margarine despite my loathing for the laboratory-developed carcinogen, just because I thought that spreading the hard butter took too long.

- I am sorry that it took so long for me to realize that they made spreadable butter, and then had to contribute to the land-fill crisis when I threw out a whole tub of margarine.

- I am sorry that I and my itchy, itchy excema-riddled skin discovered Patachou’s to-die-for French baked goods almost immediately after I was told to stay away from dairy, bread and sugar, lest my condition be exacerbated, and then indulged in an all-night Patachou pastry-orgy anyway. Ouch.

- I am sorry that I told my non-meateating BFF that my braised lentils were vegetarian when I forgot that I actually had put 1/2 cup of chicken stock in it.

- I’m sorry that I have used metal utensils on my non-stick pan, and that I have put plastic in the dishwasher on occasion.

- I’m sorry that I had that 7pm coffee when Dove was 6 months old. I was sorry when she was still up at midnight… and 2am… and 3am… oy, am I sorry for that one.

- I am sorry that ate not one, but two McChickens when I was pregnant with Dove.

- I am sorry that I made my friend buy the McChickens because I could not risk any of my coworkers see me in line at McDonalds after all McDonald’s trashing I do.

- I’m sorry that I got mad at Chris for finishing my favourite cereal, but then I ate an entire bag of his ripple potato chips.  In one sitting.

Let’s stop there, shall we? Well, I certainly feel, um, cleansed, and ready to embark on a year of eating deliciously. I’ll try to be good, and if I do sin, I’ll confess immediately. Like, right after I finish that bag of chips.

SoundBITE
If you are looking to limit your caffeine intake while pregnant or nursing, but just can’t kick the habit, here are a few things to think about: it is recommended that you do not take in more than 300 mg of caffeine per day, though less may make your baby jittery, fussy and unable to settle (even in utero). For reference, a cup of coffee generally has 100-200 mg of caffeine; a cup of green tea 30-50 mg, and 1 oz of milk chocolate, about 9 mg.

Comments

[kittenpie]

I'm sorry I encouraged, er, ALLOWED Misterpie to stock up on Haagen Dazs when it was on sale last week.