Help! I need somebody!

Well, I had a really good post in my head already to go about starting rehearsals for my play this week (yahoo!), but that will have to wait.  My brain has officially turned to mush.

[Cue fog machine and eerie music]

Methought I heard a voice cry 'Sleep no more!
The Baby does murder sleep', the innocent sleep,
Sleep that knits up the ravell'd sleeve of care,
The death of each day's life, sore labour's bath
Chief nourisher in life's feast, --
Still The Babe cried 'Sleep no more!' to all the house
'I hath murder'd sleep, and therefore The Parents
Shall sleep no more, Nobody shall sleep no more'.

No, I'm not crazy.  And I'm not brushing up on my Shakespeare either.  I'm sleep deprived.

Honestly, I just don't know what to do anymore.  I thought we were making progress, I really did.  The Baby often woke up at 6:30am or so - sometimes earlier, sometimes later.  Every since the (@#$%) Daylight Savings time, though, everything has gone to hell.  The Baby is up at 5am every morning.  On a good day.  On a bad day (like yesterday)? 4am.  Four in the freakin' AM.  For.  The.  Day.  Need  I mention that this is unacceptable to me?  Many people have suggested going to bed earlier, but he is wakeful between 7:30pm and 12:30pm -- up two, three, or four times.  Sometimes puts himself back to sleep, but mostly needs a helping hand.  I am averaging four to five hours of sleep for the past three weeks.  For the past year?  The best we've had is six continuous hours of sleep.

It is killing us.

I thought I could handle the sleep deprivation.  I've always been a person who requires less sleep than the average joe.  This is beyond the pale.  It is akin to torture.  It's affecting my days, naturally.  I'm short-tempered, apathetic, and lord knows I can't function normally.  I made a major error at work yesterday, and lost it.  I actually lost my cookies at the disco.  This is not working for me.

I spent most of my much anticipated first rehearsal desperately trying to keep my eyes open.  I think I managed to save face, but I looked very stern.  I think I might have scared the director.  This is not working for me.

We have read books and scoured the internet.  All suggestions seem ineffectual:

Make sure you have a bedtime routine.  (We do, it never varies, it is exactly the same.  We are Sleep Enforcers.)

Make nighttime wakings boring.  (We don't talk or encourage or reward, we simply put back to bed.  hour, after hour, after hour.)

Respond to nighttime wakings in the same way.  (I wouldn't say we are a 100% percent on this - desperate times call for desperate measures and all - but we're pretty good.)

Too much noise?  (We use a sound machine.)

Too light?  (We have a blackout situation in the Baby's room.)

Hungry?  (If you see the way the Baby eats, this would not be in question.)

Comfort?  (Well we do the best we can, but the Baby CAN'T TALK and we can only hope he's comfortable.)

Nap routine?  (Well, as mentioned, we are Sleep Enforcers, but you can only do so much.  He rarely naps longer than an hour, and since starting daycare, there have been many days of twenty minutes sleep.  Total.)

Drugs?  Alcohol?  (Please believe me when I say I have considered this.  I, myself, have already indulged.  Alcohol, people!  I don't even know where to buy drugs other than ibuprofen.)

We are at our wit's end.  Right now, I would pay a princely sum to have one night's uninterrupted sleep.  Something that hasn't happened in over a year.  There are many sacrifices that you have to make when you become a parent, but there is also a time when you have to stop the insanity.  When you risk becoming a shell of the person you once were. 

Please, please, please tell me how.

Zzzzzzzzz,
Mama Drama

Comments

[kgirl]

This sounds like what we went through with Bee, and it was hell. But there are a few things we did to make life easier. The evening wake-ups can kill a girl's will to live, so I just gave up on getting her back to sleep. I plopped her on my lap in front of the tube, fed her, let her sleep there and then went upstairs when I was ready. Yes, you get little done, but at least you're sitting and watching some shows.

And hey, then you can think of fodder for your next mama drama post.

oh, and as always, repeat after me:

This too shall pass.

[daysgoby]

Benedryl? I jest...

My daughter is a crappy sleeper. Still is, at four. One thing we found is that the heater kicks in at night and whumps! and wakes her - I know it's insane, I know it's akin to torture, but is there any way you can sit in his room and see if there's a REASON he's waking up?

R sleeps better (has, since she was quite wee) surrounded by stuffies and loveys. And the paceys, oh God the paceys. She slept better when there weren't areas around her -she really likes to be snuggled with something. Does he have a lovey? Have you tried putting a pillow beside him or filling up the space near him?

I remember this well, though - there are an AMAZING amount of Law and Order re-runs on at four am, aren't there? I used to sit on the couch with one end of a blanket under my butt and wrap it over the baby and back down under my bum on the other side so I could pass out and didn't have to worry about dropping her.

HBM is having the same problem right now - I know her boy is younger than yours, but there are oodles of comments on her post, and one (or more!) might help.

Good luck, love - that kind of sleep deprevation isn't healthy for you or he!

[metro mama]

This is what we do. Alternate nights of responsibility. When it's your turn to sleep, use earplugs and take a sleeping pill. I buy this generic non-prescription pill, called Sleep Rite or something like that. A little alcohol helps too. And try to get lots of exercise during the day.

Can one of your parents come and spend the night and take night duty, especially the night before your first performance?

[Gabriella]

Oh this is rough! I have no words of advice only lots of virtual hugs sent to you, like Kgirl said above this too will pass as hard as that may seem to grasp right now.

[Athena]

My sympathies. I can totally relate, in fact my last post was about this very subject. My baby is 11 mos old. She is a pretty good sleeper. .she just wakes up here and there to nurse. We co-sleep, so the interruption is very minimal -- I just roll over and nurse her and we both fall asleep like that, but it still is interrupted sleep. I have no idea how I'd function if I couldn't sleep in with her every morning, if I couldn't swing my sleep schedule around to match hers.

Taking turns tending to her at nights, with your spouse, sounds like it could really work!

Being a parent is truly the most difficult yet rewarding job there is. Hang in there!

[b*babbler]

I'm so sorry that the sleep thing is sucking right now.

I remember when Peanut didn't sleep that I was only able to go about 10 days at the outside before I started going crazy. That was the point where my in-laws would come into town for a night and do one night for me, where I could go up to bed and sleep through the night. If there is anyone who can help you like that, it truly is a godsend.

Also, we ended up using a music box in our house that attached to the side of the crib. Because we always put it on every time Peanut went to sleep, eventually she learned to put it on herself (it has huge buttons) or, at the most, we go in and hit the button and that's her cue to go back to sleep. It still works to this day. It might not mean that he sleeps through the night, but you're only getting up for 5 minutes to turn the box back on.

Good luck!

[Becky]

So mine wasn't the only baby who's been messed up since daylight savings. He's been waking up at 5 am, sometimes 4 am. He chirps away in his crib and is ready to go for the day. I've skimmed some sleep books but the best advice I read was something like babies will "train" themselves to wake up earlier and earlier - so they can see you and start their day! It went on to say there is no reason to get out of your OWN bed until 6 am. So we've implemented the 6 am rule - leaving the baby in his crib until that time. MOST times he falls back asleep, even though he was so wakeful at first. Of course, other times he cries. That's where closed doors and ear plugs come in.

[Lisa b]

you need to sleep. somehow. either you trade duty or go to a hotel or have the inlaws come but you cannot go on like this.
my friend had a sleep doula come and if nothing else it means someone else is up instead of you.

[Painted Maypole]

i know the baby eats a lot, but so did MQ. but when we started feeding her an extra MEAL right before bed, she slept through the night. I couldn't believe it.

when you have the energy I can't wait to hear about your rehearsals!