My Oral Obsession

I never used to give my teeth a second thought.

Oh sure, I've always been aware that they could be straighter, whiter...bigger even. (Yes, in a bizarre twist of fate, despite being a notorious big mouth, the actual physical size of my mouth is rather small.)

But back to my teeth.

I've been a little obsessed with my teeth ever since my last trip to the dentist. While pointing out the worst areas where tarter collects, she casually stated as fact something that has been haunting me day and night ever since.

I have a receding gum line.

It's true. At least my dentist says it is and she should know. She also said it was a perfectly normal sign of aging and blah, blah, blah...truthfully, I didn't hear anything she said after that, so gripped was I by visions of myself as a toothless, gummy, old hag.

A receding gum line?! How is that possible?! Isn't that something my mother should be worrying about? Should I start measuring for dentures now?

And is this how it is, getting older?

Does the quality of the a thousand and one small things - body parts and functions - that you for years took for granted suddenly and almost imperceptibly start to slip?

I am now stricken by the notion that the smile I once flashed so freely now signals to others my imminent physical decline. I fear, all of a sudden, that people I speak with are just barely masking their disgust at my prominent gums: I am paranoid that my breath is bad and that my teeth are yellowing.

I've taken to bushing more often and more carefully. I used to floss once every few weeks unless I ate chicken wings or corn on the cob once a week or so but now I'm flossing a few times a week daily. In my lower moments I curse myself for not marrying a dental surgeon. (Sorry Rob - love ya!)

But then, just last week, I received something in the mail that I think may just be my own Christmas miracle.

It's called the Oral B Triumph and it is the mother of all power tooth brushes. It claims to use "flossaction technology" and it has a wireless remote display screen that monitors your brushing performance and provides ongoing feedback. It retails for approximately 100 times the cost of an ordinary drug store toothbrush and had I not been asked to review it here, it is unlikely I would ever even know it existed.

But no matter. I have it now and I feel just like like Michael Jackson with his hyperbaric oxygen chamber! Madonna with her silver sleeping bag! Demi Moore with her knee-lift surgeon!

Surely this toothbrush, with all its computer wizardry and expensive science, can bring my gums back to the fore and restore my youthful vitality! Just thinking about it charging in its nifty little holder makes my teeth feel sexier.

Now if I could just get someone to ship me a hyperbaric oxygen chamber for review...

Anyone, anyone?

Comments

[katie ~ motherbumper]

Why didn't I think of asking for a hyperbaric oxygen chamber for Christmas? WHY? My teeth remind me daily that I'm growing up which makes me cry a little bit. I hate to say it, but flossing has become one of my best friends (and if that isn't a grown up thing to say, than I don't know what is).

[Adrian]

Keep us posted on how you like this. I have the same problem and while I've tried some of the electric toothbrushes on the market, I haven't found one that actually gives me feedback. Sounds kind of like heckling, though actually, now that I think of it. Anyway, maybe that might be worth investing in since my flossing habits are somewhat similar to yours (blush). I get just grossed out and I HATE the feel of that nasty string in my mouth, even though I know it's good for me and probably necessary for an old lady like me - ha!

[Athena]

I've had this problem since my early 20s. It's not just an age thing, it can also be a result of brushing too hard. So now I use a softer toothbrush and start brushing from above the gum line, rather than right at it. I also floss everyday.

[dental services california]

I want to ask if electric toothbrush is better to use rather than ordinary toothbrush? thank you for the post.

-heather-