Well folks, it's official. I am old. My birthday was yesterday, and while a lady never reveals her age, let's just say that I am closer to 40 than I ever thought I would be. (I had high hopes of being turned into a vampire before I hit my 20's. Damn that Bella.) Usually I'm not particularly freaked out about my birthday, but I realized the other day that perhaps that's because it hasn't sunk in that I've actually aged. In my head, I haven't gone past the fresh and fun age of 23. Sadly, that birthday was quite some time ago.
There's a popular saying that age is just a state of mind, but I have to ask - is that really true??
Case in point: The other day was the first rehearsal that we had to be off book. For anyone who is unfamiliar with the term, that's when the actors are no longer allowed to use their scripts in rehearsal. I've never had much problem memorizing my lines - I've always been able look at the script, turn away from the page, and just "see" the lines in my head. Kind of like photographic memory, but way less cool. I knew I was struggling a bit - there's been a lot going on these days - but I thought I had a fairly good handle on it. I thought my "non-talent" would see me through. It didn't. I was so bad that the director finally asked me to pick up the book. Out of four actors in the show I have the least amount of lines, and I was the only one who was asked to do this. In short, I suck.
And then we were talking on the way home from rehearsal about how clothing stores these days have gone off the deep end. If you want to buy an outfit, you basically have to be prepared to go clubbing. You line up outside the door, waiting to go in. Once you're in, the lights are so dim that you can barely see the clothes (or maybe they're trying to hide the price tag??). Stores are starting to hire models instead of salespeople to up the cool factor. Abercrombie & Fitch even puts cologne in the vents, so the whole store has a particular scent. "Eau de Yuck", I say. I had to hold my nose and hightail it out of there so I could breathe without wanting to vomit. Anyways, I thought after this discussion that perhaps I don't like this new retail attitude because I'm too old. The kids seem to like it well enough. And maybe if I was sixteen again, I would too. Although, my sixteen-year-old self would probably skulk away in abject geekdom.
And don't even get me started on how my boobs look after nursing two children...I have the mammaries of a thirteen year old - and not in a good way.
And yet, there's a lot of really good things about getting older. I'm thankfully not in the dating scene anymore (knock on wood). I have found the love of a good man and I'm holding on to it for dear life in my decrepit, wrinkled hands. The chase can be a lot of fun, but after a while, it just starts to be a lot of work. Now I can wear sweats and no makeup, and still get laid. Good times.
I have two beautiful boys who no doubt benefit from the fact that I refuse to grow up. I do crazy walks behind the stroller, and sings nursery songs at the top of my lungs, and I don't care who stares. They're just jealous of my obvious musical talent. (Not!).
I'm much more confident than I used to be. Or perhaps I'm just too tired to care what people think.
I'm old enough to remember a time before email and the Internet - yes, I'm that old - and yet here I am blogging and twittering and illegally downloading music and videos. (I kid about the last part. That is wrong - VERY WRONG.)
So maybe Bob Dylan doesn't know everything. And maybe, after ageing just a bit himself, he's changed his tune.
Don't even get me started on those damn kids and their damn stores *shaking fist in the air*. I'm so close to forty, it's breathing down my neck so at least I'll always be older than you.
And thanks for the cool actor lingo, I love learning things like "off book" (though in my world that means something completely different "half massage, full massage or off book sir?" - OH I KID!)
And post BF boobs are highly underrated.
Posted by: katie | January 08, 2009 at 04:47 PM